"WTF? What did you just say?"

*Disclaimer: If you are a trifling parent, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT post on this blog! I personally am going to eat your ass alive!!!! This is something that urks the hell outta me.*

Okay.....if you understand the statement above, here we go!

I have a male friends who are wonderful parents. They do what is necessary to take care of their kids and will go over and beyond to make sure their child is cared for in every way possible. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut......a few of them have some TRIFLING ass baby momma's!!!! Yeah I know somebody is looking like oh shit, is she talking about me today! Nah, nobody in particular but just something I thought about last night.

Point in case....Here you have a man who you once had a relationship with. He gave you everything you wanted and needed in the relationship and you two eventually had a child together. Somewhere along the lines, she stepped her ass out and cheated. Guess what? He LEFT YOU!!!! Can you be mad? Nope.....

Well.....he has made it clear to his child's mother that he wants nothing to do with her and he is moving on. She seems like she understands everything he is telling her and abliges his request to cut all ties. He still does for his child as he is suppose to and he even VOLUNTEERS to keep the child every other week so you two can share responsibility and quality time. (This action I applaud).What's the problem?????

Hmph....here is where all of those trifling ass baby momma's need to really pay attention!

He's finally started seeing someone else and she has found out about it. His baby's momma begins to call and ask for things that she has never asked for before (come to her place to see their child, bring "them" something to eat, stupid shit) simply because he has moved on and is now spending time with a female. But he is still doing all of the things he was doing with the child before the female came in the picture. What does the baby momma have the nerve to tell him? "You will not see your child as long as you are dating someone else

HUH???? WTF did you just say??? He can't see his child because he's moved on?

Wait....wait.....here's a twist to this story....oh yeah....you know this couldn't just go so easy like that. He's not just dating SOMEONE else.....nah...The female he is now dating is a female the baby momma does not like! (Let the crowd say oooh aaaah)!!!!

First of all....the baby momma had her chance and SHE messed it up!!! PERIOD! He's doing everything necessary to make sure his child is STILL taken care of as if he was still with you, but he knows how to do it from a distance. He still keeps his child on alternate weeks, he still drops everything to spend time with his child and simply because he's gotten over you and moved on, you want to hold his child against him???

Why do females do this? Why put your child in a position where they have to see this kind of controversy between his/her parents? Men....if this was you or is you, what do you do?

Imma let you all have at this one first. But oooooohhhhh....I hate this kind of shit right here!!!!

Have at it!

"Your what? Sideline ho?"

Good morning fellow bloggers!!! Today's topic was inspired by someone's status that I have seen throught my friends list. Let me clear this up before anyone goes searching to see who's status is close to what I am about to write about.

This blog is NOT, I repeat is NOT completely from them. It was just something that stemmed from their status. I do NOT know all of the details of their situation. Ok? So please do not assume this is about them! So with that being said, heeeeeeeeeere we go!

You were involved with someone but you two have been broken up for a while. You soon learn they are dating someone and have recently gotten engaged. You congratulate them and tell them you wish nothing but he best for them. But do you really? You two talk about things and you go as far as to ask them, "Are you really in love or are you just trying to fill a void in your life?" They respond to you in a sure voice and tell you that they couldn't be happier. So you let it roll.......

Welllll.....the wedding has taken place and you were in attendance and met this person to whom your ex is marrying. You congratulate them both and go on about your business not even thinking twice about it. Really??? Ummmm.....we'll see.

A few months down the line, you receive a phone call from your ex, uh yeah the recently married ex. They ask to meet you for lunch or dinner and you agree; not thinking anything of it but just catching up on how things are going. Hmph.....this is where the shit really starts to get good.

So here you are eating and all of a sudden your ex (yeah the recently married one) says to you, "I've been thinking about you and I wanna go out to the movies or something one night." You are stunned because you're thinking to yourself, "what the hell?" You respond to them by saying, "um...so what do you want to go out with me for, what about your spouse?"

*Disclaimer: Yeah lemme throw this in here right now....If you are someone who is married and you are doing this shit with someone on here, please refrain from commenting. Nine times out of ten, they are going to throw your ass dead under the bus on this one!!!!*

Ok....back to the story....LOL....After you have asked the question about their spouse the answer they give you will damn near make you choke on your food. Your ex, yeah the recently married one, leans over and tells you, "I just got married to make you jealous.

"HUH??? WTF??? You did what? Ok....so you try to regain your composure after learning this shit and you sit back in your seat and say, "so you wanna get a divorce?" And low and damn behold, your ex has the nerve to say, "hell naw, I'm not leaving my spouse but I wanna be able to see you too." They go on to say how they know you still love them and you want them but you they couldn't marry you.

What do you do? LMAO.....they want you to be their "sideline ho" at YOUR expense! Once again, if you KNOW you are in this situation please refer back to the disclaimer!!!

"Um...where do you think you're going?"

Awwww shucks now!!!! It's Friday and the weekend has officially began! Are you and your friends going to paint the town tonight? Or are you going to be a couch potato and just chill @ the house?

Many people ask themself this question as the weekend approaches and some end up with some crazy ass outcomes. Where the hell am I going with this??? LOL....Of course you know I had to have some craziness somewhere in the midst of this note today! Wellllp.....here it is!

You are involved, whether it is married or in a relationship, your ass is on lock! LOL......It's Friday and you're contemplating on going out and kicking it, BUT.....you have a level of respect where as you see if your other half wants to do anything first. Right???? I guess....LOL.... Sooooo....you ask them if they have anything they would like to do with you for the evening and they say, "nah....I don't really feel like doing anything because I am tired. I'm just gon' chill around the house."

So immediately you are like, ok. You pick up the phone and call your friends and say, "hey....what do you all want to do tonight?" So you all decide you are going to go out to a club and chill for a lil while. Wellllll....shit is NOT about to go so smooth!

Your mate waits anxiously until you hang up the phone when all of a sudden they hit you with the all time classic line, "Who was that?" Now....they were sitting right there listening and KNOW who the hell it was. So you tell them just because they asked and you think nothing of it. Your mate then comes back with another question, "ya'll supposed to be going out somewhere?" Again....yoiu are saying to yourself, "I know damn well he/she just heard me talking about going out." You tell your mate "yes we are going out since you said you wanted to just stay home and chill."

A few hours later, you start getting ready....you take a shower, pull out a fiyah ass outfit, make sure you smell right and tell your mate, "I'm leaving now and I'll be back in a little while." Awwww nawwww....shit is not about to go that simple. Hours have passed since the topic was even brought up about you going somewhere and has gone to the point of you being completely ready to go when your mate hits your ass with this definite shit starter......."Hell naw.....you ain't going no damn where!!!!"

So of course, an argument insues. You are ready to go, your friends are waiting for you at the spot but you are stuck @ home arguing with this asshole! LOL.....Wait...wait....there is another twist to this mess. In the middle of you all arguing, your mate gets a call from their friends. They are out at the club and wants your mate to come and kick it. Remind you....your mate said they were going to chill because they were tired and had no plans earlier. Once your mate hangs up the phone, they then tell you, "go ahead, I'm going out too."

So you're thinking to yourself now I thought you said you weren't going out, didn't want me to go out because you chose to stay at home but now since your friends have called, it's ok???WTF!!!!! Ya'll can have at it with this one....LOL....we have been there and ummmm some of ya'll (notice I said ya'll) are still going thru it! LMAO...

Oh yeah here's the disclaimer: *If you know your ass is going to be in this predicament tonight, please refrain from saying, "I do what the hell I wanna do and go when I wanna go." I don't want your mate seeing this shit and the next thing we know you've been Chrihanna'd*

"You need to whip his ass"

Yep.....some of you may already know where I am about to embark on this journey today! For all of my parents who read this blog, please do NOT have a flashback and attack any kids in your presence!!!Ready? Here we go.....

It's just any other day....you've already had a long day at work. You're tired and you've dealt with grown folks all day long as it is, right? So....on the way home, you realize you need to make a stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things for dinner tonight. You have kids at home that need to eat and you're thinking to yourself, "hmmm...what will I cook for dinner tonight?"

As you enter the grocery store, you are in a very laid back mood but also ready to get in and get out. You want to grab the few items that you need, get home, cook and have your family time. So here you are pushing your buggy thru the store on Aisle 2 when all of a sudden you hear this someone "small" saying, "I don't want that."

Now initially you think, ok....what was that about and you pay it no mind. So you continue on over to Aisle 4 when you hear this person again say, "I hate you." Now....this is when you realize ummm yeah this is a child and you want to see who it is they are talking to and what is going on.

Here's the killer: You start pushing your buggy a little faster and over on Aisle 5, you see a grown ass lady and this lil bad ass boy laying on the damn floor kicking and screaming his ass off saying...."I don't wanna get in the buggy and you can't make me.

"WTF???? This is where mini me would have gotten an ass whipping! LOL....PERIOD! Don't care who's around....who's got something to say or anything!!!

To yourself you are saying, "WTF is going on over here?" He couldn't be anymore than 4 years old and this a grown ass person sitting here BEGGING a child to get up off the floor.

Do you see these kinds of things happening? What's the worst one you have ever seen? Have you ever witnessed a parent actually back-handing a child doing this mess? If this was your child, (which I hope it wouldn't be), what would you have done???

*Disclaimer: If you know you have a bad ass child and they are known for throwing temper tantrums in which your ass gives in, please refrain from posting to this blog! You need your ass whipped!!*

"Just put it in"

For the last 10-15 years, I can honestly say I have seen a tremendous change in the way people view sex. Some see it as a way of expressing themselves for a person, some see it as a means of getting bills paid and some even view having sex as a "lock-down" method!


Well.....regardless of what the reason is behind it, I don't concern myself with it because it is your preference and your decision. But here is what I can't quite grasp a hold onto in regards to any of these reasons.


Scenario: You are in bed with whomever it is you are about to become intimate with. All signs are go at this point and the mood is off the chain. You find yourself getting out of your clothes without hesitating and wondering about what it's going to be like because you want it sooooo bad.


I'm sure you are saying to yourself, what the hell is the issue?


Wellllll......you have promised yourself that you would never ever have sex with anyone without any kind of contraception. Whether it be foam, condom or whatever, right? WRONG!!! You are bukked naked and about you get to the point of having sex when your partner says, "Ummmm.....I don't like how condom's feel so let's just do it without it."


What do you do at this point? Ladies, you are dripping wet and all he would have to do is just "get the head right there and he's in." You have been waiting on this moment to get with this person forever. My fellas.....here you are bone hard, almost ready to bust just from thinking about putting it in and BAM....she politely stops your ass from doing anything! The blood has rushed to your manhood until your head is throbbing!!! Do you persuade her into still going on? Or do you suffer your losses and beat your meat???


Ladies, on the other hand, you are one of those females who says, "condoms make me dry and I want to feel all of you." Fellas, you are adament about wearing a condom but she refuses to have sex with it, waht do you do?


I am going to let you all have your way with this one because of course somebody is going to say they have never had unprotected sex and they would never do it. But at the same time, I know somebody (male or female) has been in bed butt ass naked about to put in work when you realize neither of you have a condom but does that stop you? NO!!! So let's see how this pans out!!!


Remember people, this is KEEPING IT REAL 101!!! Let's go!

"Shhhh...I don't wanna get fired!"

You spend majority of the your day around people who are not family, not even relatively close to being family. 9-10 hours a day, they are those you come in contact with the most and are also those who you typically converse with the most. But somewhere along the lines, you notice this one somebody who you spend majority of your day around and they catch your eye!!!

Who is this person? Your coworker!! Yep....that's right. The person whom you see all day long and the person who is there to talk to whenever you would like at work.

You have always checked this person out, but the thought has never crossed your mind because you've always wanted to keep it professional. On a typical day, you two would speak in passing and make very "mild" comments about each other's style of dress.

But one day in particular, the person who you have been checking out, steps to you. They tell you how nice you look but it comes out in a much different manner than it usually had. They whisper in your ear and tell you all of the things they have dreamt of doing to you if the chance every presented itself.

You and this person that you have been checking out find yourselves in a place where no one could see you, there are no surveillance cameras nor any blind spots from you seeing someone coming and catching anything that you two are doing. Therefore, you go for it, ummmm not sex get your minds out of the gutter. LOL......You two share a kiss that is sooooo passionate until you wish you were not at work.As the days go by and the more frequent you too meet in this spot, one day you finally decide to take it past the work place and go to your place for a lil mid-day quickie!

On the way there, you two are soooo anxious to put in work and satisfy all of those titilating thoughts you have had about each other for a while now. You go in, take care of your business and head back to work. Sure someone is reading this saying well what the hell is the big problem! You wanna know what's wrong with this picture??

BOMBSHELL: You are married, the person you are creeping with is SINGLE ANNNNNND this person is your BOSS!!!!! What the f*@k do you do????? LMAO.....

LMAO....now here's the dilemma....if they ever want to break it off, do you risk them telling on you? Do you risk the fact that your job is on the line? All I can say to this is, you better set up a camera somewhere in the house to record it all....take some pics or some thing so your ass can do this lil thing called "blackmail" to at least hold your job! LOL

"Where are they now?"

Our high school years are supposed to be those times we all look back on and say, "wow, that was the best time of my life." Right? Hell naw.....LOL....not for everybody. For some of us, it was the worst thing that we had to do on a daily basis, going to school! LOL....


For me personally it was pure hell!!!!! I was joked on constantly but never gave in! If you joked on me, please understand it was coming right back like rapid fire! LOL...I was never one to back down from anyone saying anything slick about me. Bad curl and all.....I even made a few people mad! LOL...


We also remember the cutest guy in school and also the finest girl in school, right? Well.....some of those people do NOT look the same anymore. They have hit that mid life spread and that's exactly what they did, SPREADED and I do mean like a wildfires! LMAO.....But some of them are still holding it in the road, right?


There was also the high school "geek squad." Where are they now? Have you seen any of the ones who everybody used to cheat on a test? The one who everybody tried to sit next to when it was time to take major test but their ass would not share their answers! LOL....Are they still as nerdy as they were back then or have they grown into some "sexy" individuals? I've seen a few and I was quite shocked.....but a couple are still as damn goofy as they were back then....a damn shame!


Majorettes.....oh my....do you remember who the "captain" of the squad was? Does she still look the same or has she let herself go? The drum major....is he still all cute and slim? What are your fondest memories of high school? What were your bad memories of high school?


If you could go back and do it all again, what would you do differently?


Me, I would have NEVER gotten that damn curl which required me cutting all of my perm out leaving me with about 1 1/2 inches of my own damn hair LOL and having about 60 lbs on me! LOL......yep...I was about 90 lbs wet until about my 10th grade year and then I went to 100 lbs! LOL...stop damn laughing!